This is my attempt to start writing posts again! Therefore I'm taking the easy way out and doing mostly a photo post. I'll be witty and thought provoking soon enough.
p.s I need to redesign the blog again! COMING SOON!
Sooooo I'm going abroad in January....to FRANCE! for FIVE MONTHS! Now commencing inspiration for said event:
I have this fantasy that all of Europe looks like this....
I plan on visiting Greece during a school break!
Me, every day. Blonde!
Sites
Nature Walks
Champagne? I'll be a legal drinker! Finally!
Wishful thinking.
Food. Wine.
When I travel, I will stay in hostels, but a girl can dream.
I will be 3 hours away from Paris, in Montpellier!
I'm in love with Macaroons. Just call me Blair Waldorf.
The other day while busy at work harassing people for money raising scholarship dollars for students in need, I spoke with a very sweet elderly gentleman. One of the main goals in my job is to build rapport with each prospect in each call, and this conversation in particular was going very smoothly. He asked me what my major was and then what I wanted to do after graduation and after giving my generic response he caught me off guard with this one:
"SO are you looking for a husband then?
................
"Are you planning to get married after school?"
........
I understand that he was just curious and that he could have easily been my grandfather in this moment, but seriously? kill me.
"OH ha-ha. Well, I suppose that's on my to-do list somewhere.....ha ha. Very far down. Like AFTER graduation, and a job...you know the usual....!"
"Well because after college it gets so difficult to find a good lasting relationship! Where are you going to meet guys once you're out in New York? Well I s'pose theatre deals with a lot of people, so maybe you'll have some connections there in that world.......but you'll be starting from scratch once you move there!"
(HoKay. Sir. YOU DONT KNOW ME! YOU DONT KNOW MY LYFE!)
"Mmmmhmmm. Well yes, I hear it can be a great challenge for people!"
"Well, while you're in school what you have to do is choose relationships that have the potential to last a long time! You know.... a commitment!"
"Oh definitely. Sure. YES, well, SAM*, I certainly don't want to take up too much of your evening here, so I just want to tell you a little bit about the Discovery Scholars Fund...................."
He ended up donating, so no hard feelings here. But this is the kind of shit we ladies deal with all the time. I had a wonderful conversation the other day with one of my best girl friends and one of my best guy friends and as girls, we were saying how frustrating it is to feel this huge pressure to be college gals on the hunt for a ring by spring, and the male presence in the conversation was shocked by this - he was saying he doesn't think twice about marriage and has never worried about "deadlines" either. He encouraged us to not let society get us down and to be independent in thought and action. All very lovely sentiments that we indeed try to aspire to! But when every single relative at every single holiday asks you about a BOYFRIEND and WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO DATE SOMEONE and YOU'RE SO PRETTY WHEN WILL YOU BRING SOMEONE FOR US TO MEET?! Our nerves get a little on edge. No significant other = no husband = no babies = no future. Sorry bout it. You lose. Fail.
So then (of course) I entertain the thoughts they've ninja'ed into my head and I think about life as a young, married WIFE. My mind flashes to the 50s and I think I feel myself break out in hives at the thought of it all. I mean, I can clean pretty well, I can polish silver....I can handle a vacuum like nobodies business! But when it comes down to the "Mom" and "Wife" stuff....I don't think I qualify! I have friends who are going to be divas and goddesses of their homes. They will walk around with their magic fingers and POOF! cookies will be made, children will know how to read by their 1st birthdays, they'll have a worshiping husband and they will be able to slay their daily projects at their fabulous jobs to top it all off.
I mean, lets be real here. One of the scariest things that I can think of is having to produce a meal every. single. day and every. single. night - for someone other than just ME! Here is what I am capable of producing for human consumption::
Crescent Rolls (from the can)
French Toast
Waffles
Pancakes
Hot dogs
Mac&Cheese
Cereal
Eggs - Scrambled, fried or omelet
Frozen pizza
Lean Cuisine
And that's kind of it. I've never even made chicken. If anyone would like to teach me how to cook, please, contact me. It'll be a date.
So anyway, old man river on the other end of my headset rattled my cage asking me about my future and my love life - a total stranger! But you know, considering that I am now officially half-way done with college, shits getting serious VARY fast. Pretty soon I am going to be a real-life college GRAD. Obviously I am NOT husband-shopping, and I don't think that I should be....but then again, should I be? What if he was right? What if I am destined to be one of those unhappy 40-somethings who partied hard in their 30s because they didn't need a man but then suddenly, they turn 40 and they realize they DO? So they stalk old flames or middle-aged dudes at sports bars, grasping desperately at their one last chance at a life time of happiness?!? THE CLOCK IS TICKING LADIEZ Aaaand I just vomited.
Later in the evening I had the unfortunate luck of calling another "mature" adult, this time a woman:
"Hi! Ruth*! My name is Catherine, I'm a student at the University of Minnesota, calling alumni on behalf of the U this evening - How are you tonight!?"
"Well, not too good....My husband died and now I am ALONE"
When I was little, I spilled my milk at dinner a lot....like once a week. At least. And almost every time it happened I would start to cry. I was so embarrassed! How could I let this happen AGAIN? Everyone would throw their napkin on the massive spill and I would sit there and cry (a tactic to avoid cleaning up perhaps?) But then I would get a full new glass of milk and we would go back to eating and I would dry my tears and everything became right in the world again. So when I was first introduced to Pollyanna the movie, I was an instant fan. Not for her blue eyes and wild bangs, no no. Simply because she spilled her milk at dinner! She cried too! TWINS!!!
Classic Noble-Family movie choice, Oh and don't worry,
she falls off the roof and breaks some legs, but it turns out fine. Big surprise.
haaayoo
But other than our milk-spilling bond, Pollyanna drove me nuts. She was kind of an idiot and never seemed to grasp basic concepts.Take this scene for example:
I can just hear my 8 year-old-self now:
"I'm sorry POLLY, but that is NOT how cousins interact with one another. DUH"
George is hot though, amiright?
But it was the character of Rev. Paul Ford who really scared the shit out of me. Here I was watching a care-free movie about a dumb blond girl who gets a makeover and the Reverend comes in and makes things all serious! His sermon is funny to me now, but as a kid I had to fast-forward through it because it made me so scared! (I could die any second?! WHAT? This is some bullshit!!!)
DEATH COMES UNEXPECTEDLY is a running joke in my house still to this day, but sometimes I think of it in the car, or before take-off on a flight or even before bed and my childhood fears come back. Rev. Paul's words echo in my ears as I rush through a Hail Mary to try an calm my guilty soul. But today I hear his words again and instead of hearing their humor, I think about how true they really are. Last week I found out that my Fairy Godmother, Kitty, has terminal lung cancer and today I will be seeing her for the first time since my graduation open house two years ago.
You didn't hear wrong, she is indeed my "Fairy" Godmother because she stepped into the Godmother role after my "real" godparents dropped off the face of the earth and discontinued contact with me when I was probably 6. Real nice. So Kitty was this fabulous, raspy-voiced, brassy braud who bought me candy and Lisa Frank coloring pages and called me her baby-girl. She gave me my first "diamond" necklace and my first bottle of perfume - it was a sample-sized Este Lauder which I never sprayed it because it reeked, but it looked really cool displayed on my dresser - She had the craziest laugh I had ever heard, she chewed her gum loudly between smiling teeth and pronounced Wallgreens like Wallgrins. Just from giving her a hug, I would reek of cigarettes; but I loved it and I loved her...hello, she was my FAIRY Godmother. I was a bonafide Cinderella. We haven't kept in touch now that I've gotten older, but she was there for me when I was feeling abandonded by my cop-out Godparents and she swooped me up in her white Toyota Camery to take me out, treat me like a grown up and make me feel special.
"We the mortals touch the metals,
the wind, the ocean shores, the stones,
knowing they will go on, inert or burning,
and I was discovering, naming all the these things:
it was my destiny to love and say goodbye."
— Pablo Neruda, Still Another Day
As you may recall from last year, I love LOVE. I had planned a delightful Valentines Day post for this year's festivities, but Vday came and went and OH LOOK! It's now mid-March....How does that even happen?! Time scares me more then you can possibly know, but I'll save all that for another day
I am a big supporter of all things "lovey" UNLESS you decide to be obnoxious about it which includes but is not limited to:
- Posting endless "couple-kissy" pictures/albums on Facebook. WE KNOW that you are in a relationship! Please stop reminding us with unattractive close-ups.
- Posting status updates about you and your significant other. Unless it is their birthday, your anniversary, or they have died, a play-by-play about your day-long date is unnecessary.
- Ditching your friends for your significant other. Bottom line: not cool.
- Not having a life other than the person you are dating. For example: If you just hung out all day, is it REALLY necessary that you call them in the car or when you get home? What is there to say?! "Hey Honey! Yeah, I just got in the car...Oh Funny I can see you in your window! HE HE HE Oh this is weird...I thought I tossed my Taco Belle wrapper from last night but I guess I didn't...Ew now my whole car smells like Taco Belle. HE HE HE yeah I know right? But hey, I'll call you when I get home KAY? Well I'm going to shower and go to the bathroom but I'll call you RIGHT after!!!"Why? This is the actual kind of conversation I have witnessed and nothing makes me want to scalp another human being more. Too much? I don't think so.
I could go on. But the point is that (other than those not-so-rare circumstances) I really do love seeing two people in love. Below are some romantic pics that I was going to include in the Vday post <3
Next we have some of my favorite fictional couples (Another segment from my would-have-been Vday Post)
* Meredith Grey and Derek shepherd
Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass
Scarlette O'Hara and Rhett Butler
Sally Albright and Harry Burns (from When Harry Met Sally aka the best movie of all time)
All of these couples have 1 thing in common: They are fictional. Chew on this while we pause, and hold for Part II of this post which, I promise, will come ASAP
