Per Chi??

Well, I slowly but surely am making my way through Eat Pray Love. I just finished the Italy portion of the book (she travels through Italy, India, Indonesia). And I said I was expecting this book to live up to the hype and change my life. well its not quite to that point yet, but it has definitely cultivated some thought on my part.

One part of the book described a conversation between Elizabeth Gilbert (the author) and one of her new Italian friends Giulio. He told her that the trick to discovering the tone of the city and whether you belong there or not is to discover the city's "word." The word would explain the theme of the city-the theme that "lived" in the heart of every citizen. What the city breathed and echoed. And if your personal word did not match the city's word, then you didn't belong there.
Giulio says that:
Rome's word is Sex
The Vatican's word is Power
Naples' word is Fight
Elizabeth says that:
New York's word is Achieve
Los Angeles' word is Succeed
Elizabeth's friend Sophie from Sweden says:
Stockholm's word is Conform

and they go on to question what the word of their families are, and then the more difficult question of what their personal words were.

well obviously this got me thinking....whats my word?

I feel like college is this fantastical tunnel that promotes growth and change and fosters an environment for discovery (that could have been taken from a college brochure and you would never be the wiser!). Like this magical land that you go to so you can live this wild life and get all your crazy experiences and rebelliousness out and done with before going into the real world when all of a sudden you have responsibility. These days, its hardly about getting an education. You choose a college based on its location, its clubs and activities, what sort of opportunities it offers its students etc. So right now I think my word is "discovery." but at the same time I feel like that's what my word should be. That that's what I should be feeling and acting and evoking. That I should be "one" with the mission of the U and all that it "promotes."

But, as my 1st semester draws to a close I have to admit that I'm just not feeling it. I don't feel that sense of discovery or the excitement of being morphed into this bright shining new individual with new insights and new exciting stories from my "freshman year". Hell I've never even been to a CRAZY party with girls dancing on tables and hundreds of wild college kids who later run frantically from the cops. What I've come out of this semester with is a knack for utilizing the metro transit system...

Maybe that's why I don't feel like the U is completely for me. Our words don't match! I mean I thought this was my DREAM college. and it still is! but on the other hand, now that I'm here, I just don't know...I think maybe I had way too high of expectations and they just have not been met. If the U could talk, it would probably say, "I'm sorry to say it, but it's not me. It's You." and maybe it is University! Maybe I'm not looking hard enough?

At this point in my life.....honestly? my word has got to be Confusion!

So, whats your word?

Happy Finals Week!

P.s Have i told you about my obsession with beyonce? no? well its true.

one more. one more

uuugh such a good song! so sad- but so good!


Congratulations lyrics
-Blue October (feat. Imogen Heap)

Is that seat taken
Congratulations
Would you like to take a walk with me

My mind it kind of goes fast
I try to slow it down for you
I think I'd love to take a drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years
My heart

My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu
My heart won't take this cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu

I came to see the light in my best friend
You seemed as happy as you'd ever been
My chance of being open was broken
And now you're Mrs. him.

My words they don't come out right
But I'll try to say I'm happy for you
I think I'm going to take that drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years
My heart

My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu
My heart
My heart won't take this cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu

And I can't change this
I can never take it back
But now I can't change your mind
(You left me)
And I can't take this
I can never take this back
But now I can't change your mind
can't change your mind
(You left me)
Can't change you mind
(You left me.. hu hu hu hu)
(You left me.. hu hu hu hu)
(You left me.. hu hu hu hu)
(You left me.. hu hu hu hu)

Go away
Make it go away
Please.

Oh hey there, FINALS!

things that i do to procrastinate:

1. listen to music
2. sing to music
3. dance to music
4. create new outfits...for events that haven't even been invented yet.
5. clean my room
6. organize
7. make up amazing new snacks like cinnamon toast crunch mixed with reeses puffs....yeah. try it.
8. do other, less important homework
9. create lists of things to do...you don't need to tell me how ironic that is
10. call people
11. decorate my room
12. update my blog
13. update my twitter
14. go on facebook
15. creep on people on facebook
16. look through my friend's pictures on facebook...even ones that i've looked through many times before
17. facebook
18. facebook
19. facebook
20. oh and more facebook.
21. read
22. put away clothes
23. do laundry
24. look at wedding blogs
25. do my hair
26. do my makeup
27. sometimes even work out...sometimes
28. shower. to take off all that makeup and freshly done hair. duh.
29. pretend online shop. i put things in my "shopping bag" and go through the checkout process up till the "purchase" step. awkward. once in a while i do actually buy things though!
30. look up stuff on google (that is my absolute LAST resort)

its a problem folks.
have fun this week. kill all of your finals! i know i will..........................................

perfectly lonely

Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do
No one but me
That's is all I need

I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
Yeaah...
Cause I don't belong to anyone
And nobody belongs to me

The new John Mayer album is terrific. Check it out

New Years Came Early!

Every holiday season people are urged to "Kindle the love of Christ in your hearts," or "Have Christmas in your heart all year through." Celene Dion even has a song all about it!

"Don't save it all for Christmas Day

Find a way

To give a little love everyday

Don't save it all for Christmas Day

Find your way

Cause holidays have come and gone

But love lives on

If you give on

Love..."

Well. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that everyone has those quiet "hateful" moments where you say something to yourself (mentally of course) which is beyond horrible and rude and would maybe get you stabbed in real life?

i hope that's not just me...woops!
So I did this a lot as a kid, like I'd say I was a pretty jealous little girl. Now you know huh! Like everyone knows I love clothes (who doesn't?) and that def started at an early age. I remember like HATING on other little girls if they had cute clothes (especially in church)! I wouldn't even focus on mass I was so zeroed in on all the other girls' little dresses or shoes.....like that's changed? what?
So I got much less angsty as I grew up but sometimes, when in the right mood, I can be MEAN. Even though I'm the only one who hears it, I still feel bad about it. In college the insults have "sophisticated" (hardly). A couple weeks ago I felt like a girl I met a while ago was ignoring me on campus, like it seemed like she was avoiding me! I would see her a lot and I wasn't even going to go up to chat with her. but you know I would just gave her the "polite smile" and got DENIED every time. So I wont go into full detail here because I don't want you all to think any less of me then you already do...BUT the mental insults that I threw at her consisted of things like,
"I hope you fail out of college!!"
"Cute hair...maybe try some Frizz-Ease next time."
"Don't trip in your stripper heals! Oh wait, please do!!!"

OhmyGAWD I'm a horrible person. But the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

The moral of the story, is that frequently I am soo very mean about someone just to get proved wrong. I basically have reverse Karma. Like instead of bad things happening to me, I get nice things that just make me feel HORRIBLE. Because, just today who do I get a text from?? Oh don't you know! She was like "hey we haven't seen each other in a while" yadayadayada and then invited me to a keggar at her new house! So sweet right? (Well about as sweet as college acquaintances go....) Maybe she just wants her party to be a total rager and is inviting everyone she knows (probably) but I mean still!

So needless to say I feel like a walking hoe-bag and if we ever become face book friends I'll def need to delete this post!

So my New Years resolution this year is to be more "generous and charitable in spirit." It wouldn't hurt to be that way in action either....one step at a time.

I'm going to Annie's for malts for the first time EVER tonight! I feel like my U experience is coming full circle! ;) I'll tell ya how it goes...

over and out comrades.

All I Want for Christmas is a Biker Boy....or Taylor Lautner

....one is clearly more attainable than the other.

No, not motorcycles (not cool). I'm talking good old fashioned bicycles! I don't know what it is about these dudes! Maybe it's their cute little hats or their scruff or deliciously un-kept hair or those ultra-neat courier bags that look oh-so-efficient....I seriously can't get enough of these BOYS! My favorite little trait is the rolled pant leg(s). Don't ask why but I seriously think it is the cutest thing! Sometimes I see them walking into class with a pant leg still rolled up and my heart sings a bit. Thankfully, the U is chalk FULL of these hip hotties and I get to stare at them on the daily.

Or I should say I used to...The snow has officially set in! Now when I see people biking I just roll my eyes...Like I get it, its faster than walking. But come on! When you get to the point where you feel like goggles are needed in your daily commute, I think its time to put that little bike in storage.

Anypooo

I came across the coooolest pictures of "striped ice bergs" the other day and I was floored! Check check check up on these shots! I read that blue stripes are created when warmer water gets up in the ice and then freezes so quickly that the bubbles in the water don't have time to pop. And the yellow and brown stripes are created when there's more sediment then usual in the water and green is if they're filled with algae. Just a lil fun fact for you folks today!

*but first: some gorgeous winter wonderland getaways!








How cool is THAT?!?!?

I'm always amazed by smokers. I saw a girl at the bus stop this morning taking these huge drags from her cigarette and gulps of her coffee held in the other. Two addictions....that lead to really bad teeth stainage. Now that we officially live in the frozen tundra, I'm even more amazed by smokers! They stand in the "designated smoking area" freezing their bootays off just to smoke! What a very inconvenient habit. AND it's so expensive! If a pack costs $5 and you smoke a pack a day....thats $35 bucks a WEEK. You could get a really great skirt for that much....I relate every purchase I make to the price of clothing. Not that I'm buying cigarettes, but its a great gauge for any purchase... "$65 bucks for concert tickets??? I could get so many shirts for that price! Or a really great dress!"

I'm sorry I'm so random.
I have more things to discuss but alas. I'm lazy and I have more important things to be doing that blabbing about my thoughts. And I'm sure you have more important things to be doing rather than reading about my thoughts! But I'm oh-so glad you do waste your time on me ;)

until next time. over and out.

Hold on to your hats! I'm feeling all sorts of EMO

"You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have four legs, instead of two. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look at through you heart, instead."

I have done something a little embarrassing. Ahem. I bought Eat, Pray, Love....I had a gift card to Barnes and Noble, so i figured it was basically free. And its so popular, how could I go wrong? I doubt I'll be disappointed. I was determined to find it on my own because I refused to admit to a salesperson just how cliche-girl I was being.
Well of course I couldn't find it...so I had to ask. Of course it was a man behind the counter. He was very nice and to me to go to the biography section (well who would have thought it would be there!?!). I looked and looked and I still couldn't find it so I asked yet another employee. This time it was an overweight middle-aged woman who hooked me up. She knew right where to find it. Maybe because she's a knowledgeable employee or maybe because she's a middle-aged overweight woman. I guess we'll never know.

***See that's the problem I have with books like this. It makes me think of the kind of people who read it...the same people who read depressing self-help books....the same people who watch Lifetime Original Movies and the same ones who talk about chocolate in a lusty-can't get enough-self-loathing way....The same people who are obsessed with Twilight and the same types who go to scrapbook conventions at the Mall of America. Uuughh. I realize I just described about half of the female population who are between the ages of 16 and 47 but whatever man. Picture those kinds of folks. That's what I felt like buying Eat Pray Love. I realize that that does not in any way accurately describe the books' audience but you get my idea.***

So anyway, I bought this book and while being embarrassed at conforming to a mold (that I created mind you) I was still excited to read for fun. I hear that in college you never get to read for fun anymore.....well here I am working to get in some of that leisure reading! Now, I hope to gain a bit of enlightenment and self-knowledge throughout the course of the book because that's what everyone seems to gain. Well already as you can see by the quote above...I am gaining some of that enlightenment. Its a very interesting book and while I think it frequently sounds like she is trying WAYY too hard to sound like a wise Guru....I like it so far!

-What I don't like however is the exact thing I like about it!!! It's making me think...Hence the emo-referenced title. This book is making me feel all personal and deep. I don't like to be like that with anyone let alone myself so being all questioning about my LIFE can be a little frustrating for me. I have resorted to listening to depressing music and downloading a whole BUNCH of Conor Oberst stuff which is probably not a good sign. I mean he's great, but you don't get any more emo than Conor.

This is a good one....Not as emolicious as the other ones:::

Oh You Are the Roots that Sleep Beneath my Feat and Hold the Earth in Place

I met you through a common friend,
in the attic of my parents' house.
And though I didn't know it then,
I soon was finding out...
You are the roots that sleep beneath my feet,
and hold the earth in place.
Each time a faucet opens,
words are spoken,
the water runs away,
and I hear your name.
No, nothing has changed.

There was this book I read and loved,
the story of a ship.
who sailed around the world and found,
that nothing else exists;
beyond his own two sails,
and wooden shell,
and what is held within.
All else is sure to pass,
we clutch and grasp,
and debate what's truly permanent.
But when the wind starts to shift,
there's no argument.

I sing and drink,
and sleep on floors,
and try hard not to be annoyed,
by all these people worrying about me.
So when I'm suffering through some awful drive,
you occasionally cross my mind.
It's my hidden hope that you are still among them.

Well are you?

Oh, you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet,
and hold the earth in place.
each time a curtain opens,
sunlight pours in,
a lifetime melts away.

And we share a name,
on some picturesque grave.


I feel like I need some serious CHANGE people. A change I can believe in....and Obama's not gonna do it for me this time

you feel me?