Goodbye 17, Goodbye 18, Hello Love

Well, I'm in the home stretch. The last year of my teen years has dawned and I'm ready. 19 is kind of an ugly number, I'll be the first to admit it. It lacks all sorts of significance and it's kind of creepy that 18 is over. 19 is total limbo. When I hear older women talk about their youth, they always reference ages 16, 17, and 18. Age 19 is nowhere to be found.

At 16 I thought the girls in my class were idiots for dating anyone because, God knows, they'd find someone new that they "loved" in 2 weeks {Boys were juvenile, and girls were clueless. And now, when I see a young teen couple, first I think, "Gag me." and then after a second, I think, "good for you for at least having a boyfriend in high school, at least you make each other happy....for now"} At 17, I was embarrassed to be reading Seventeen Magazine because I felt like my brain was shrinking from their unbelievably shallow articles. And at 18....well....I certainly don't think that I made a lot of mistakes; I didn't sleep around, I didn't experiment with any type of "club drug" and I definitely didn't fail a class because I was too busy socializing. My point is not to observe that 19 is my one last chance at hitting it home with jack-ass "teen" choices, rather, it is one of the last times to be blissfully immature.

I'm typically pretty worrisome about appearing immature, so I (usually) try to compose myself in a way that would please adults. This year, I look forward to not worrying about the "mature" or "responsible" thing to do and just deciding in that moment: what is best for me? After all, you're only young once. I look forward to NOT acting like a 30 year old women and instead acting like my age: a 19 year old girl. So Catherine? Wear that mini skirt, go to the party on a school night, dance with the guy, and take "Intro to Holistic Health and Healing" Why not? As we say in the theatre world: Fail. Fail big. Make a mistake because then you learn...its better to throw yourself into something and fail miserably for trying rather then going the safe route so you don't look like an ass.

I want to make 19 memorable. When I'm 80, I want to say, "I remember when I was 19...." I want to make (little) mistakes. I want to say "yes" to new opportunities. I want to take what ever is thrown at me. I want to learn from everyone. I want it alll.

wish wish wish. now, blow out the candles.

Youth is like diamonds in the sun
And diamonds are forever
So many adventures couldn't happen today
So many songs we forgot to play
So many dreams are swinging out of the blue
We let them come true

Forever young, i want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever forever
Forever young, i want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever forever forever
Forever young, i want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever forever
Forever young, i want to be forever