We're in the Money

money sucks. but boy is it wonderful.

SO. this is the time of year when FAFSAs are being filled out and the world's student population are making choices like:

"Do I live in that fun apartment close to campus and not eat?" or "Do I live with three other roommates so I can afford rent?"
and
"Do I study abroad for a semester?" or "Do I graduate with little to no debt...."
and
"Do I buy those super-stylin boots?" or "Do I get to go out to eat with friends"

these kind of decisions make me SICK. Seriously. I prefer to live by the mentality that if (and i mean IF) you can afford it, you should get it. You shouldn't have to compromise if you seriously LOVE something and other than savings (which I think is highly, highly important) you shouldn't have to budget every single flipping penny. [Obviously I don't think you should choose a hot new dress over grocery money, so you do have to pick your battles once in a while]

But on the other hand...I really do think budgeting is a pretty good idea, and for the most part, I do it....for the most part....Michaella is shaking her head right now....whatever. My mother budgets hard. I mean that women knows how to work a calculator and a pencil. So maybe its part of the whole "i-don't-want-to turn-into-my mother-mentality" that makes me want to say SCREW YOU BUDGETS. But I've come to a crossroads (no Brittany Spears needed, thank you); there is this huge spendy-spendy alter-ego/sister inside of me and that sister (lets call her Caroline) likes things. I know I KNOW - you cant take it with you yadayadayada. But right now? I would very much like to just take it. The trouble is that I'm basically putting myself through my whole college education/experience and so I really can't afford to spend spend spend the way I so desperately want to.

SO here is the dilemma: The Arts. The artists of this world-the people who create and inspire and provoke and create inspiration and make things beautiful (basically, the crowd I'm trying to be in)-are not very "money friendly". In fact, they revel in the prospect of being a 'starving artist'. Weell fuck that. They believe that its pretty normal to have to suffer for your art and for your craft, and that in the end, you'll be a better artist for it. Well cool. Cool.

not

Hold up. I'm sorry. So is it wrong that I would prefer to come to rehearsal with a bottle of Evian over bringing my water in a recycled apple sauce jar? Or that I like to wear Ralph Lauren and have aspirations of one day owning a 'luxury vehicle'? Or that I would prefer an actual bed with a box spring and a mattress and nice sheets over a sleeping bag on the floor of some dirty apartment? Well no, Caroline, its not wrong....you're just in the wrong business. Shit.

(Warning: Honesty box has opened):: Honestly, I recently was waiting for my dad to pick me up with one of my college friends and he asked me what kind of car he drove (so he could keep an eye out for the car) and I literally went, "Oooh Ummm....well..." (clearly avoiding the answer) and he said, "You don't have to be embarrassed!" "Well...its a black Mercedes." It wasn't an issue or anything, and we got in the car no big deal. But its always like I feel like I have to hide it. You know, the things I like, the products I use, the technology I own, my house, the types of events I go to etc, etc. Because I think these new peers (and potentially future colleagues) of mine will look down on me for my "worldliness". And that's shallow thinking on my part, to think that my friends would be unkind to me for such stupid reasons (especially when that reason is my family's success) but hey, its happened in the past, so I've found that its better to just keep things a mystery you know.

So now the challenge is this: How, in world of starving artists, can I be an artist who is by no means starving?

The luxury vehicle I mentioned earlier:


VS. this:


Yeah.

over and out.